Running out of room in my head

Stress doesn't even seem to be a big enough word for what I have been feeling lately. Terror might be closer...

Today was my husband's last day of work at what was his current job. The company did a massive layoff and he was affected by it. He was the carrier of our insurance so who knows how that is going to work. We are going to try to pay into Cobra but of course that is really expensive.

I will be having my gallbladder out in a little over a week. I am hopeful that this will help with a lot of the digestive issues that I have been experiencing lately. At the very least I hope it helps with the pain. I will be off for almost a week following the surgery. It will be nice to get some rest at least.

I had a follow-up MRI last Friday and got the results yesterday. The brain area was good with no new lesions and no active lesions. I have an active lesion on my spinal cord around the C4 area. No lesions in my thorasic area but I do have some arthritis and some misaligned vertebrae at T6-T7. That explains why I have pain in the middle area of my back.

My toe has healed though I have some lingering pain occasionally when I go to bend it.

Our honeymoon in Arkansas was amazing and a lot of fun. It rained on us most of the time we were there but it was still beautiful in the mountains. Our favorite activity was going to see the big cats at the Turpentine sanctuary where they rescue big cats who have not been taken care of by their owners. It was neat to be so close to lions, tigers, bears, cougars, bobcats, black panthers, leopards, and white tigers. I had to wear the boot on our honeymoon because my toe hadn't healed up yet but it wasn't too bad. The boot plus all the rain did make me slip a few times but I never fell thank goodness.

We are now trying to get ready for Christmas. Finding the money for this Christmas is going to be a little more difficult I think. But it will all work out. Because, Romans 8:28 - just gotta remember it!

Almost Here!

It is hard to believe Christmas is almost here. Then in a couple of weeks it will be January again and we will be starting all over again. We have had our Christmas shopping done for quiet awhile now. I took a Saturday off and we did all our shopping in one shot on a very rainy wet day. Usually around this time of year I do a year in review - kind of reviewing the past year of events in my life. We'll see if I have the time or motivation to do one for this year. It's been kind of a rough year.

I have been working on organizing the Christmas Eve program for the 7 o'clock service at my church for this year. Sometimes it's like herding cats (lol) but is always a lot of fun. We had our first practice last night which went for two hours. But we got through everything and I think our next practice on Thursday will be fine. I think it will be a nice service and am looking forward to it.

Week 37 and the trend continues! :(

The week started out better than it ended weight-wise. I did great early in the week getting back on track but during the weekend had a bit too much fun apparently.

Weight gain this week: + 1.2lbs
Total weight loss: - 37.4 lbs

I did at least get a wonderful night away on Thursday night with my husband. I found a holiday rate at a really nice hotel in a town about an hour away and we were able to stay there, go out to eat, and do a little bit of shopping with our Christmas gift cards. Instead of paying an arm and a leg to go to a movie, we took his portable DVD player with us and hooked it up to the hotel TV and enjoyed a movie right there in our room. It was definitely a nice break for both of us.

Back on track and tracking today!

A Look Back at 2010

I felt for certain that this year had to be a vast improvement over 2009. After my car wreck in Feb 2009 and subsequent physical problems, I had hoped that I would have a more physically healthy year. Of course it's much easier to remember the second half of the year as it is more recent...

I did get some major projects taken care of this year that I am really proud of. I got the kitchen painted and updated a bit with new hardware. It definitely looks much fresher and less dated than it did, especially when we moved in. We also got a new water efficient toilet and a new vanity for the bathroom this year. The rest of the bathroom will hopefully be finished in 2011. We rearranged the whole house and wound up with a dining room, separate living room, and a library/study of sorts with a fireplace.

I completed all three graduate classes that I needed to finish for licensure this year. I took the first one in the spring semester, and it was relatively easy to complete. I only had to drive to Quincy four times over the semester. I took the other two classes this fall and they were much more time intensive and difficult. I drove to Quincy twice a week and had class three hours at a time each night. Add that to all the homework and papers we had assigned and I am not surprised that I was so stressed out. And to say that I was stressed out is probably putting it lightly. I did get an A in both of my classes and felt pretty good about that!

Health-wise, this was another tough year for me. I think I did pretty well the beginning of the year, just the normal colds and such things. But about half way through my fall semester of classes, I started experiencing pretty bad pain in my stomach, abdomen, and sides. When I finally broke down and went to the ER, they said it could be my gall bladder or an ulcer. Then when I went to my doc, he said pretty much the same thing. The gall bladder ultrasound came back normal though so they ruled that out. Finally after dealing with it too long, I called a GI doctor and got in there. He was pretty sure that it was actually muscle pain probably exacerbated by stress. That had no more than really stopped hurting and one day I suddenly had double vision. It really came on that fast. After it didn't go away for a week, I went to my eye doctor who then called my regular doctor to order an MRI. There were spots on the MRI that suggested some problems so the eye doctor referred me to a neurologist. The neurologist ordered an EEG and a lumbar puncture. The EEG was fine and easy. The lumbar puncture however, that is a whole other story. The nurse warned me of a potential spinal headache which results if the spinal fluid continues to leak after the LP. Well, I had that horrible headache for six days. I went to the ER here in town after four days and all they did was load me up on Demerol (seriously, I was slurring they gave me so much) and gave me a script for pain meds that didn't help. Finally, the sixth day, I tried going back to work but felt so horrible that I couldn't make it and called the neurologist begging for a blood patch. Thankfully he ordered it and I went up immediately and got the blood patch to stop the leaking spinal fluid. It worked and I was soooo glad. I haven't gotten any results yet, I don't go back to the doctor until Jan 4th. They are currently trying to rule out multiple sclerosis (MS) and I am really praying that I don't have it.

Regarding health, I did lose a lot of weight this year. I have obviously been chronicling it on here so if you have been following you can see where I am currently at. I gained a little bit back over Christmas but am looking forward to losing that an more. I have gotten up to losing like 42 pounds but am currently at about 38 I think. Am still doing weight watchers though we haven't been walking for awhile. My classes were so stressful that I just didn't feel like walking and then of course it got cold outside. That makes it a lot more difficult too. I have grand plans of starting that back up again and I know my husband would really like that.

I had a lovely Christmas with lots of running around like normal. Nice presents from the family and my husband. We are taking a mini vacation this week to spend some time together and shop with our Christmas gift cards. I am very much looking forward to relaxing and getting to spend time with just my hubby. I am seriously considering turning off my phone while we are gone!

So, that's a bit of a look back at the year 2010. Some really good things (weight loss) and some not so good things (health crap) but over all, I am still hanging in there!

Week 36 AKA the week of Christmas!

So I have gained a bit the last couple of weeks. I wasn't too worried about it because I have been so stressed out lately that I have kind of loosened up on myself regarding food. Probably not the greatest of ideas but it made me feel a little less stressed. So this week, I actually wasn't doing too badly foodwise until Christmas day. Because I had been doing pretty well, I thought I would loosen up a little more for one more day. Not a great idea either because I went back for seconds (a big no-no for me) at both meals. So this week is one of the biggest gains I have had since I started this whole journey. But, I am owning up to it and starting over today back on the plan. My husband and I have a date night planned for Thursday so I am going to save up my weekly extra points for that evening, but I am still going to be careful. We aren't sure yet what we are doing for New Year's but I can guarentee that it will not involve snacking like we usually do. If we do go to a friend's house, I will probably take something I won't mind eating with me and stay away from the snacks that are sure to be bad for my waistline. I recieved a gift card for Christmas to two stores that I like buying clothes from. So after I get back down to the lowest weight I have reached (will have to lose 3.6lbs) I will treat myself to a new clothing item. I shouldn't have too hard of a time achieving that at least - until I just calculated it, I thought it was closer to five pounds.

Weight gain this week: +2.4 lbs
Total Weight loss: -38.6lbs

Week 35

I am feeling much better this week, thank goodness. I can't believe how badly my back hurt after that blood patch was done! I can even put my own socks on again which is a good thing. My food choices weren't great this week but I managed to save it from being a total wreck. If I can just get through this week of Christmas, it should be a lot easier and much less tempting to eat the "bad stuff". I am also hoping we will get walking again, though I hate the idea of walking in this cold weather. I need to really find some layers to put on and some better fitting sweatpants to keep me warmer. I have lots of baking to do this week....that should be interesting.

Weight gain this week: +0.6lbs
Total weight loss: -41.0 lbs

Christmas is coming!

It's that time of year again when the lights and trees are up and suddenly everyone loves everyone else. I have always been a big fan of Christmas. Despite not really growing up with a lot of money, my parents always managed to provide a good Christmas for us and it was a joy to get up really early and sneak downstairs and stare at the living room full of gifts. It's not really as much fun now as it was then since I usually know what's under the tree. It takes a lot of the anticipation away when you pretty much already know what you are unwrapping. It's kind of a double edged sword though because if I don't ask for what I specifically would like, then I end up with some really strange random things sometimes! But I really think my favorite part of Christmas is the beauty of the season. I love how beautiful houses look when they are all decorated. I love how amazing the church looks when all the greens and lights have been hung up. I especially love Christmas music. I also love to give presents and try to find the perfect thing that the specific person would love. Unfortunately I have resorted to gift cards over the past few years because some people are so hard to buy for.

This year Christmas will be busy as usual. We have already celebrated Christmas with Steve's dad as he was only coming back for Thanksgiving and not around Christmas. We will be going to my mom's this Saturday afternoon, and then my dad's on Saturday evening. Then on Sunday we will go to Steve's aunt and uncle's house for a get-together and ornament exchange. Then Christmas day we will go to Steve's mom's for lunch and then to my step-family's the day after Christmas. Unfortunately we do have to miss Christmas with my paternal grandparents since it is at the same times as my mom's. But I made sure to go there for Thanksgiving since I had a feeling that the Christmases would conflict. I am learning that you can't make people happy all the time, and not usually even most of the time. So we try to get where we can and not feel stressed over it. Feeling stressed over Christmas kinda defeats the purpose in my mind. I do feel sad about having to miss two Saturday night church services in a row but I suppose sacrifices must be made. And since I am always the child who has to bend then my stuff gets missed. But it keeps the peace so I guess it is worth it in the end.

Update

If I can just get through this week alive, and then Monday, I will have six days off straight. I took next Tuesday off so that I can cook whatever I need to cook to get ready for the holiday. Plus with 7 different Christmas dinners to go to, I need a day when I can have a bit of a break. Steve isn't sure what he will be working yet but he will likely be sleeping that day from work the previous night. My brother will be down at some point that day and will be camping out at our house that night. I made cookies last night and put them in the freezer so they will keep until the days that I need them. I will be making chocolate covered pretzel sticks tomorrow evening for work people. I will make the rest of them next week since I don't think I can freeze them.

I didn't go to the gym last week except for briefly on Monday. Wednesday I didn't really feel like dealing with people so I just stayed home and did my treadmill and 500 crunches. Friday I was still having cramps so I stayed home and relaxed. I still lost 0.8lb this week so that is good. I will probably weigh again after I leave the gym tonight just out of curiousity. I am really going back and forth about joining the next bootcamp thing. It's only $110 so it's not really the money issue though that is a consideration. It is just so time consuming. Most nights I wouldn't get home until seven in the evening. Generally on those nights I don't eat very well because standing in the kitchen cooking dinner is the last thing I want to do on legs that feel like jello. And it takes away time that I get to spend with my husband. I already don't get much time with him and it really cuts into it. But on the other hand, I know I need the workout. I haven't decided yet, though I know I need to soon. I want to keep the numbers going down.

The weather is crappy out today so I don't know if anyone will show up or not today.

So far for Christmas I have: the Long's on Saturday 20th @ 1pm, Dad's on 24th @ 2pm, Steve's mom on 24th @ 5pm, Christmas eve church service the 24th at 11pm, Christmas morning at our house (just me and Steve, yay!), Mom's on 25th @ 5pm, Michelle's (Steve's sister) on 26th - not sure what time, and Wittler's on 27th @ 12pm. So needless to say, we will be pretty busy. I am looking forward to our first Christmas in our new house. Casey will be staying at mom's the night before and Eric will be at his parents' house so we will have the house all to ourselves. I will be making cinnamon rolls and have juice and we will just get to enjoy each other's company while we open presents.

I have no idea what we are doing for New Year's. I might work a half a day on New Year's Eve, I don't know. Steve might have to work that night so I might not be able to kiss him at midnight. :( Oh well, I get to kiss him every day anyways, lol. Hard to believe it is going to be 2009 very soon!