Week 2

Well, it appears that I did not lose any weight this week. But, I got my blood test results back from IA city and it said I am borderline insulin resistant. So I know my body is really going to fight me with losing weight. Steve and I have been walking at least three times a week. I felt so good last night that we ended up walking for 50 minutes. I have noticed that my clothes are getting looser so at least something is happening. I also feel better which is a big deal. So, at this point I don't care if the scale doesn't move right now. I should be getting the correct medication soon and that should help it start going down. I do really have to watch eating too late at night. With how busy I am between class, church, and work, there are nights I don't get home until after 9pm and am so hungry. I have to start trying to get dinner in before I have to get to activities. I feel yucky in the morning if I have eaten late the night before. So, the goal for this week is to not eat anything after 8pm. It is definitely possible but I will have to plan ahead a bit better than I typically do.

Weight change = 0lbs

Week 1

Steve and I joined Weight Watchers together last week in an attempt to gain awareness of what we are eating and how often we are exercising. The first week (Tuesday - today) went very well. I stayed on points (OP) for the whole week and made choices that were healthier food-wise. We also walked a couple of days and I have been back to doing crunches that I learned at the boot camp in 2008. We ordered a Wii bundle that has a Wii console, Wii Fit, and Fit Plus accessories. I am very much looking forward to getting it going when it arrives. I am in awe of how much better I feel already by not being weighed down by heavy, unhealthy foods.

So, for week one my weight loss = 4.8lbs. It's a good start!

Waging A War

Waging a war against a known foe is supposed to be easier. You know its strengths, weaknesses, and plans of attack.  But sometimes, even if it is easier, it still seems way too hard. I feel that way about my battle, yes battle, with polycystic ovarian syndrome. It is a life robber - a robber of health, a robber of babies not born, a robber of self-esteem, and a robber of faith, of sorts. Not a robber of my faith in God, that remains strong and as I lean into the arms of the God who loves me, He gives me hope and strength. It's a robber of faith in medicine, in man's ability to cure what they don't even really understand. And I think - if they don't understand it, how the heck am I supposed to understand it?

I saw a doctor today in Iowa City who should, if anyone should, understand PCOS. And I suppose the fact that he did not tell me anything that I didn't already know mostly means that I have educated myself well about the disorder. I'll admit that I was holding out a little hope for a 'magic pill' that would help me lose weight and make me able to have babies if I wanted to someday. Alas, no magic pill was to be found. Guess I am not that surprised. Sure, there are pills out there that could help me lose weight, and even pills that could help me have babies. But at what cost? I think it is a higher cost than I am willing to pay.

I did have a course of treatment provided to me that I am going to try. But most of the changes that will have to happen depend soley on me and my willingness to change. Am I willing? Certainly. Do I feel confident that I can? Certainly not. I have the support, wonderful support. I have the knowledge. I have the capacity. I have the resources. What am I missing? I don't know. Guess I better start figuring that one out.