Let Me Count the Ways - Version 2011

I have developed lists of reasons I love my husband so much over the last couple of anniversaries. I can’t believe that it’s been four years since we got married! So I am working on the list again. There are so many things I love about my husband so I am going to attempt not to repeat myself.


1. I really love having my husband working days right now. It is so wonderful that he can get a decent amount of sleep and I still get to see him in the evenings. It is great actually being able to sleep next to him. This will change when he goes to seconds on Oct. 1st, but I am soaking it up right now.

2. Steve stands by me, always. He was there with me through the whole process of getting diagnosed with MS. I can’t put into words the amount of support he has given me and how much it means to me. He also gives me my shots when I need help.

3. I love how he just opens his arms to me to get a hug and just holds me.

4. Steve took over the finances because it was getting too stressful for me to keep it up well. He is doing a fantastic job and I feel more comfortable now with where we are than I have in a long time.

5. He helps me clean around the house. This is a huge help, especially now when I get fatigued so easily.

6. He really listens to me when I need it and communicates well. This is a pretty rare quality in guys (communication is the number one complaint in marriage counseling couples!).

7. He is willing to step outside his comfort zone if he knows that attending an event is important to me. He is even taking a LIFE group with me this fall at the church.

8. He takes care of things for me. This sounds pretty vague, but this really encompasses a lot. Sometimes it’s just emptying the dishwasher when I ask, and other times it’s taking my truck and washing it by hand after the automatic carwash took my money, got soap all over the truck and stopped working.

9. He calls or texts me for no reason other than to tell me that he loves me. I love those messages!

10. He is so stinking smart! I can appreciate this even when he is kicking my butt at Words with Friends, which he does almost every game. I can appreciate this even more now that I am so foggy on the cognitive front.

Ten Years Later....

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the attack on the World Trade Center towers. I was going to copy the post that I made that day. But apparently I didn't have a blog back then, the entry must be in my hand-written journal instead.

It was my sophomore year of college at Eureka College. I was asleep and my friend Chuck knocked on my door. He told me that planes had hit the World Trade Center. I didn't know that we had a World Trade Center or twin towers in New York. But I knew that it was bad. We watched it on TV, the continuous coverage, people jumping out of buildings, etc. I attended the prayer service in the peace garden with the other college students. Hard to believe it's been ten years.

The Real You

I know that most of us have many personas that we use depending on what situation we are in. I suppose that I am not the same person at work that I am at home (more relaxed at home for sure). But I would like to think that for the most part - what you see is what you get. I don't really feel compelled to put on a fake act for people to make them believe I am something that I am not. Unfortunately, I also naturally just assume that what I see is what I get with others. It's always a hard crash when I find out that the person has some jerk personality that they show others but are sugary sweet for me.

Because of what I do (mental health therapy) and because of where I live (in the same town that I practice), this often happens a lot. I know that most people tend to present their "good" face at therapy appointments. I expect that because it is often part of the pathology. But when I find out that someone else who is supposed to be a "good person" is also doing it, I am just so disappointed. And because everyone I see is usually related to someone I know this actually happens a lot.  It happened yesterday. I heard information about someone that I had perceived one way (based on their behavior) but behind closed doors, he/she acted a different way (critical, judging, etc.). It was a shock when I realized who the person was talking about. Obviously, nothing is ever done with this information because of confidentiality laws. But it makes me guard myself (in my head) with that person. And mostly it's just a disappointment which makes me sad.

I am incredibly imperfect but I don't try to show anything any different. I hope that if someone ever had to describe me, one of their adjectives would be "real". I have made great strides to judge less, gossip less (I have noticed it makes me very uncomfortable to hear gossip), and be kinder and always honest. It's a daily process but I can only change me when it comes down to the truth.

I wish there was a magic pill to increase people's insight I guess.

The Art of Bargaining

Nothing drives me crazier than someone asking what the lowest price a person will take for something they have for sale. That is not what I consider the proper way to bargain with someone. It's just insulting. So I will be working on a blog post regarding the Art of Bargaining. I will try to include ways to do it when you are the buyer and when you are the seller.

Bargaining as the Buyer:

1) Know what it is you want - if you are looking for something specific, wait until you find that item. Don't settle because you won't be happy with it.

2) Have a very solid idea of what is the most you would like to pay for that item. Don't go over that limit (as long as your idea is a reasonable one). Do your homework regarding what the cost of something should be.

3) Start below that top price when negotiating. Don't insult the seller with a unreasonably low offer but know that they have probably marked it up quite a bit. Give yourself some bargaining room. And you never know, they might just give you that lower price.

4) If you act really excited about something, the seller will know they have a sucker who will pay whatever they are asking for the item (especially in car dealerships). Be calm.

5) DON'T BE AFRAID TO WALK AWAY. Sellers want to sell - they do not want you to leave because you will likely not be back. If a seller won't come down and it is above your cap, just walk away. You can tell them that you have done your homework and know what it is worth. *this is very effective*

6) Pay cash whenever you can. Seeing the green is very motivating to sellers.

7) Do not ask what the lowest price a person will take. It's just rude and if the seller is smart they will just ignore you because there is someone out there who will probably pay more than you will. Just ask them, "Will you take $____" for this. It gives you a place to start bargaining.

Barganing as the Seller:

1) Know what the bottom dollar for the item is. Base this on worth and age and any money you might have put into it. Also know the market for that item. Don't let someone pay you less than what the bottom dollar is. Try not to lose money on it.

2) Have a full understanding of the product. Be able to sell its desirable qualities. Be honest about any damage present or past. Word of mouth works and you don't want to be labled as the cheat/liar.

3) Understand that word of mouth works. Encourage your happy customers to tell their friends!

4) Don't let someone walk away unless they are being completely unreasonable. Statistics show they won't be back.

5) Be willing to take a good offer. Throw in an incentive if it helps complete the sale.

6) If someone asks what the lowest offer you will take, either ignore them or tell them a price that is about mid-range. A serious/smart buyer knows what something is worth.

That's what I have for now. More to come as I think about it in the coming weeks. :)

29 and committed yet again

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 29 years old. Holy cow. I had a great weekend and pretty much celebrated the entire weekend which was kind of awesome. Saturday I had church which was awesome as a girl-night reunion with Krystal and Marissa. I don't know when three voices ever blended so well as ours do. I am sad that it will probably be the last time we will get to sing together. Then Eric came over and he, Steve, and I sat outside and watched fireworks while eating s'mores. We can see them decently well from our house in the front yard. Sunday we got to sleep in a bit and then had lunch with my dad, Thomas, Tori, and Trevor at the Mexican restuarant. Though we had a little trouble finding a table that my dad could sit comfortably in while in his wheelchair, the food was great and I even got a birthday dessert. Thankfully no one sang to me though. Steve and I then went down to Quincy to see a movie and have dinner. We saw Monte Carlo, which is just a chick-flick. The movie was good though the annoying girls who sat behind us and kept talking were not. We ended up moving farther away from them which helped some. Then we wen to TGI Fridays because I love that place. All in all it was a great day. Yesterday on my actual birthday I got woken up by my grandma who called to tell me Happy Birthday. We had lunch with her and my mom and stepdad at the local chinese restaurant, mostly because it was one of the only places in town that was open! After we went home and took a nap, we headed up to Carthage to watch fireworks with Eric since they were actually holding them on the 4th. We had dinner at a local restaurant that served us even though they had closed 15 mins before we got there. Then we hung out until it got dark enough. The fireworks were awesome and we picked perfect seats to watch. I got eaten alive by the mosquitos but otherwise it was awesome. I think this was one of the best birthdays I have had in a long time.

Regarding the recommittment. I have gained all but about 19lbs back that I lost. I realized that I hate feeling fat and gross so even though I am not really in the mood to focus on losing weight, I am going to focus on my eating at the least and start walking again. I am also drinking lots of water which my body really needs. So we will see if I can get my head in the game by forcing it to be. I had set a goal to be at my goal weight by my 30th birthday. So I have exactly a year to lose about 100lbs. Good grief. I may not be able to make that but I can surely put a good dent in it.

I PASSED!!!!!!

I took the test for my license this morning and passed. As soon as the board gets all the information I will be given a license to be a LMHC, licensed mental health counselor. I was nervous at first, not only because of taking the exam that I wasn't not familiar with at all, but also because I was given a maximum of four hours to take the exam and I got done in a little over an hour. But, everything went okay and I got through it and PASSED!!!  This has been a long time coming and I am so glad all the trouble I went through was worth it.

Losing a great lady

My step-grandmother passed on Sunday morning. I hope to be as well loved in life and this wonderful lady was. She always treated me as one of her own. She will be greatly missed by the whole family and community.

Virginia H. Ginny Wittler Obituary: View Virginia Wittler's Obituary by Quincy Herald-Whig